March Writing Prompts

A member in my blog group shared some March prompts! Some are really good, and since it is only the 4th, I am going to try and play catch up. Plus, I could use something fun after the last entry I posted....

She posted 3 different prompts, and I am going to take some from each b/c there are such good suggestions on all of them!


Day 2. How do you Refresh

This might seem silly, but I refresh either by playing my Sims4 game for a couple hours, or just binge watching TV. I don't have a whole lot of time to be lazy, so when I have a couple of free hours, it is SO nice to just wrap myself up in a blanket and either live my fantasy life on Sims4, or just watch crap TV. Once the weather gets nice again, I'll go outside more. Friday's are really light this semester and I am really looking forward to going to the park alone, or the river alone and just sitting.

Day 3. Twenty facts about Yourself
1. I love cats 2. I have a son who gets on my nerves everyday and is also my world 3. My favorite color is rainbow (yes, that can be a color) 4. I can drive a manual, and actually prefer it. 5. I can shoot a gun 6. I want to take kickboxing classes 7. I am an awesome mom (so my son says) 8. I miss playing the flute 9. A dachshund is my dream dog 10. I want to be an ultrasound tech 11. My *only* regret is not going to VT 12. I hate the outdoors except for the cooler months 13. I'm so very uncoordinated 14. I love to cook but hate to bake 15. I love my siblings more than I will ever admit to them 16. I want to buy a house with a gorgeous porch where my son can have a porch swing 17. I want to travel!!!! 18. I want to take horseback riding lessons 19. I am afraid of heights but LOVE roller coasters 20. I want to live in Rhode Island

NEDA Week

National eating disorder awareness (NEDA) week was last week. I thought all week about posting something about it, trying to be uplifting and positive, but I can't. I can't go on pintrest and search uplifting messages to share, or even worse- negative messages (which to me are beautiful motivational messages) to share. Going on pintrest and seeing eating disorder post, or memes or whatever, twists my stomach into knots. And that is how I know I am not okay. If I go on pintrest and see even one ED post I will fall into the black hole of relapsing. 

    It is so frustrating to be in such a good place mentally and still hate myself same days. Some days I can throw on a pair of expensive jeans and take pictures of myself in the mirror all day long, (seriously, this was 1 of 20 pictures I took, while at work 🤣), admiring my thick thighs and loving that I actually LOVE my "fuller" figure. 

Then there are days I come across pictures like this and am in love with how thin I look.I'm sure a part of this is the camera angle, but I can still admire it and think *this* is

beautiful. Those hip bones 😍😍

      I guess I can say that I am in a good enough place to know  that I need to eat. Mainly b/c now, thanks to me trying to be an advocate or whatever, too many people know and I feel like everyone is always watching me. But also, I know that with my work schedule, I would last barley a couple of days before I ended up in the hospital.



      I am sorry for this that read this expecting something informative, or uplifting, or whatever, but this is what I could write. I wanted to write something helpful, but the google images that came up were too triggering.

      A couple weeks ago I couldn't sleep. I sent my sister a text, knowing that she was also sleeping for work and wouldn't respond right away. It was a pretty raw text, a text of feelings I just needed to get out if I wanted any hope of sleeping for work. It wasn't long, but I woke up to her response 'I have never related to a single text more in my life'. And that was all I needed. I didn't know it is what I needed, but it was. I needed to feel validated, like I mattered, not to necessarily talk everything out all heart to heart. I'll be okay, she will be okay, and so will you.
          
           "Slay your demons Princess, then fix your crown"

Weekly Goals

January was a lazy month for me! I didn't start classes until the 14th, had vacation from both jobs over the New Year, and hours were cut from my part time job. Did I do anything productive with my life? Nope. I took down the Christmas tree and put away the decorations mid January, and that was pretty much the extent of things. I still haven't moved the dog crate back into the living room, or put away all the Christmas gifts....So I have 2 goals for this week. Get my living room back in order, and clean up my room!

I did do my son's room a few weeks back while he was at his dad's and he loves it! He wanted to me rearrange his room so that he could have more space to play. I also got rid of A LOT of toys, and the best part was he wasn't there to tell me how he needed EVERY toy I tried to give away. He now actually sleeps in his room, and wants to spend time in there instead of my room. It's great.

I also did manage to set up a desk in my room for school work! I need a chair, but it's a cute little space that I am hoping will help me stay organized. I am hoping to go on a huge trip with my sister in the fall and will need to take all online classes, so I don't miss too much class. I struggle with online classes, so I am hoping the desk will help me stay organized. 

January Wrap up!

I took a little bit of a break from blogging last year, which makes me sad, but I am hoping to jump back into it again with the new year! So, here is my first monthly wrap up of 2019. My goal is set at 52 books this year, so 1 a week, and so far I have read 8 books.

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Pretty good for the first month! This year, I am trying not to rush right into a new book, and giving myself time to absorb what I read before I start another one. Last year, I read so much it was hard to keep them straight or even remember what the book was about. 

School Update

    School sucks! And yeah, I always hated school but this time I am paying A LOT of money to go to school. Okay, technically *I* am not paying to go to school but someone is. I've found myself asking WTF I am doing thinking I can do this, way too often recently.

    About my classes: At the beginning of the semester I signed up for 3 classes, one being a late starting fast track online class, college orientation. The first few weeks were great, I did my papers on time. Did really good on one test, and okay on the other. I took notes, I was excited to be there ect. Then the online class started and I finally realized something I always suspected....I can NOT do online classes. Long story short, the class was set to end while I was at the beach, instead of doing all the assignments BEFORE I left for the beach, I was trying to do homework at the beach in between everything else. I crammed the night everything was due, and turned in enough to get a C. Which was fucking stupid, b/c is literally the easiest class I'll take in my college career. Even after grades were posted, the professor emailed me and was like hey stupid bitch, I am refusing to give out C's for this class, do the fucking work. I did the work, 2 days later and she counted none of it late!! A+!!
    My Pycsh class turned to an online class due to health issues with the professor. And as I already figured out a few weeks before, I can not do online classes. We have a test Tuesday on the current cycle. Cool. I haven't opened a single slide regarding these chapters, but sure, lets take a test on it. The last time I completely bombed, b/c I couldn't pay attention long enough to study, so why not throw another bombed test in the mix. The only thing going for me is I've turned both my essays in on time. Still failing the class....
    History....I enjoy the class, it's just a bore. I didn't realize when I signed up for the class that it was like pre Jesus time...It goes up to 1600 but really...who cares who ruled the Persian empire b/c it damn sure isn't me. I *think* I am passing....but the grades aren't posted like the other classes, which is so irritating. My first test was a 78 which I was so stoked about!!! I don't think I've ever gotten a grade that great on a history test. With that said, I still haven't turned in my paper that was due last week...I just can not focus enough to write it, let alone research it. Instead I am wasting time writing this, which took no effort at all....

    I am tired. And yeah sure I know everyone is tired, I get it. But I cut back on my part time job to 3 days a week *hoping* they wouldn't actually schedule me all 3 days. I was wrong. I haven't had but 2 full days off (before vacation) in 3 months. And one of those days, was from me calling out of my part time job. I kept telling myself to just hang in there, and next semester I can cut back and use my school money to supplement. Except nope, of course that plan didn't work out b/c why would something work out for me. I can't focus for shit, and I am way too over school considering I've only been going for 2 months. I'm really wondering what I even got myself into.

Friday Reads

**SPOILERS**

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I found this on kindle unlimited at work the other night. Half asleep and I was so confused and thought the book was about aliens and meteor hitting their house...I decided to restart it the next night and I am so glad I did! 

An old couple crippled by the grief over their son dying at 8 years old are living on a small not so friendly island in a house they built on a cliff. The story of his death is told early on, which I enjoyed b/c you can focus more on the story of how they are handling it and not trying to figure out what happened. The Grapes' are being evicted from their cliff side home due to zoning issues. The night before their eviction, a bad storm comes and a bolt of lightening strikes a cable holding the house from falling off the cliff. When the Grapes wake up the next morning, their house is in the ocean floating on volcanic rock.  Their journey continues for a couple weeks through the freezing waters. Unsure of where they are, the husband is pretty resourceful, and is able to give them electricity for water and to cook. The story is pretty incredible, they are 2 older people lost at sea and are able to hold it together. A few weeks into their journey, they come across some nomads  After almost freezing to death trying to walk to the camp, they are spotted and brought in to safety.  They live with the nomads for a few weeks, until the nomads tell them it is time to leave their current camp since the ice will be melting soon. The head of the nomads tells the Grapes, they can either contuine to travel with them to the new camp, or they can drop them off at the trading post where they will be found and brought home. Obviously, they chose to go home. 

Now here is where the story starts to be a little unrealistic in my opinion. After a death within the nomad community, and a trip back to their house on the ice to retrieve any things they may want to bring with them, they decide they don't actually want to go home, they want to sail the ocean in their little house. Which, while they were talking about it I really thought they were going to the trading spot, be rescued and get a boat and sail like normal people. Nope. They take off in their little house that's been beaten all to shit by the ice and harsh weather of the past months. They have no food, very few clothes, no radio AKA NOTHING one would need to sail the ocean. And these people are in their 60s! I'm sorry I just don't find that realstic even the slightest. Sure, they did it before, but it was out of necessity and they both almost died, multiple times. Why not get rescued, go home and actually get the things to help you survive? So dumb. 

Overall though, I did love the story and it was a nice heartwarming story about how a couple who lost any hope or ambition or really, any love for each other the night their son died, found love in each other again and learned to live. 

September Wrap-up

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I wanted to love this book and I am so sad that I didn't. Maybe at a different time I would love it, b/c the story is great. It just kind of bored me.

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What I think is interesting about this book, is it has the same sub plot (?) as the first book I read for the month. I usually pick my books by randomly scrolling Amazon, and both this and the 1st book had main characters that had imaginary friends growing up, and were eventually told they were strictly made up imaginary friends, only to find out later in their adult life that they weren't imaginary at all, and they were real people.

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I've had this book on my TBR list for awhile, and finally grabbed it on Scribd. It was a little more graphic that I expected and not that believable. There is a kid in high school who assists the cops in a case he's convinced is a serial killer. A high school kid would never have been able to get this close to a crime scene more than once, as this kid did. Even with that, the story was good. 

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Hands down the best book I read this month, maybe in the past couple months. I've read several books by this author this year and was really shocked by this book. His other books are suspense/thriller. This was just a heartbreaking story of a kid who was born with a rare eye condition. Highly recommend this book!!

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I love this author, having read a book of hers years ago. Her books always have some sort of twist at the end that I always enjoy. I thought I figured this one out, and was surprised by the ending when I was wrong about the twist. 

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I was really disappointed in this book. It was portrayed as memoir of a runaway who struggled to support herself. She wasn't really  a runaway, she was 18 the day she left the house. She "ranaway" to a friends house, where she overstayed her welcome, then went to another friends house where she overstayed her welcome again. She still went to high school everyday, and her dad (parents divorced) still sent her money every week. The second house she went to, the parents asked her to find a job and support herself. She not only refused to find a job, but she lied to the mom about it. She didn't feel like she should have to get a job and help out, she wanted to be a kid and enjoy her theater stuff. After she overstayed her welcome there, she then went to her dad's house in a different town and after that it was just  a basic custody battle between 2 divorced parents who hate each other, but since she was 18 it really was just a teenager, in my opinion being a brat. Neither parent were the all star parent that they should have been, and for that I feel bad for it. Other than that, I didn't really think this story was all that exciting. The ending was exciting and it worked out well, so there is that at least. 

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I felt like this story was sort of all over the place. It was a cool, creepy book, but there was a little too much romance in it for me personally. When I read a thriller/suspense, I do it b/c I don't want a love story. There was completely random sex scenes in the book that just irritated me. Romance, or a happy ending, okay whatever, but the actual sex scenes I could have done without. This could have been a 4 star for me, but couldn't after the sex.