Pin-it Tuesday

Today is supposed to be Pin-it Tuesday and I couldn't really think of anything to post so I decided to share this article that I read on Facebook today. I swear Fb knows more about me than I do. I've read some really great articles on Fb that have helped me figure out and sort out who I am. I'm not really sure if that's the right way to say it, but whatever.

Pretty much since I started dating, I was told I was the way I am b/c I have "daddy issues". That I pick married men, or men that have a girlfriend, b/c I am compensating for daddy issues, or that I have commitment issues b/c of my daddy issues. And I just believed it b/c why not. I couldn't commit to anything long term and I much preferred married men over single and available men. I was in 2 long term relationships and ruined them both by cheating on them with, surprise surprise, married, unavailable men.

Now I've been single for 3 years, which is the longest I've been without someone since I started dating. To be honest, I really do enjoy being alone. Someone messaged me today and said it was unfortunate that I'm still single. My response was "why?" I'm happy in my little apartment.

Anyways, I read this article today and it clicked that maybe, once again everyone else was wrong about me. Daddy issues or not, maybe I am someone who can't commit b/c I enjoy independence. I enjoy making my own choices and not having anyone to answer to. I've been talking to someone for the last 2ish months, and all these what if's keep coming into my head and I assumed it was just about my son. What if I bring someone into his life and it's wrong. What if it doesn't work out. And I've been finding dumb reasons to doubt this, to keep up my walls b/c of the what ifs. It was really starting to annoy me, but maybe this article is right, and maybe there is a reason for it, and it's not my daddy issues. I like this reason much more than the other reason.

Here is the paragraph that spoke the much to me.

They can ‘what-if’ themselves to the point of decision fatigue, but ultimately independent women will make the silent decision to never change their ways. Behind the independence and the confidence is the brutal truth that independent women don’t trust themselves in a relationship. They’re not sure they can even be the other half of a healthy relationship.  So instead, independent women continue to choose emotionally unavailable men because they want to.

And here is the article, if anyone is interested in reading it 

Why independent women chose unavailable men